Why Relationships Fail

Watching her, he knows she is beautiful. He knows he should think that she is beautiful in this moment. With her body sleeping soundly, gracefully beside him, unassuming, trusting, humble always, even in her dreams. He can sense that she is in the last minutes of sleep, and so he speaks. He hates how she was always clinging to dreams, to comforting thoughts, to endless possibility that feels as if it will never come to anything. Snap out of it, he wants to shout, to awake her anger, to awake her, period. You sleep like that and you will be unable to make real all those fancy thoughts. And what good are fantastical imaginings if you do not have the courage to speak them to the world? Those delicious and decadent dreams, those theories that made him believe things.
He is unable to make her real now. She is awake, and staring at him with those peach shaped eyes, sometimes blue, sometimes gray, but lately, fickle and imploring. Those eyes that once made him weak, now reflecting the weakness of the world. They beg from him at every moment, asking him to answer everything so she won’t have to ask any more questions, ever. It is as if she wants him to justify the earth to her. This is something you just cannot do for a person.
He watched her yesterday at the fruit stand tentatively assert that she wanted a basket. She bit her lip and glanced at her wallet, but she had also looked to him. She had offered her choice to him, and in that moment, herself to him. What do you think? She had asked. He felt his stomach collapse. Damn it woman! You can make your own f-cking choice. This femme once lifted her feet as she desired! claimed her own fruit and offered it to the world without hesitation! She came before Eve, before Adam, before Him, and quite unapologetically, before God – she alone seemed aware of the world before sin, and the bounty of the world that was hers alone to swallow. But now in his bed, he watches her in her nudity as he has never seen it revealed. Her eyes sunken and reactionary, her conversation postured – awaiting answers. She is pornographic. He wants to be questioned. He wants her to question him. He wants to demand her immediate release from him, and them from each other. He wants her, as never before, to finally make good on her dreams. He wants to secure his own liberation. He doesn’t want it to be like this.